Whether or not we realize it at the time, all our words, actions and attitudes reflect our choices. A foundation to good decision-making is acceptance of two core principles:
1. we all have the power to decide what we do and what we say, and
2. we are morally responsible for the consequences of our choices.

Sometimes the power to choose is not self-evident. Outside control and inner emotions can leave one feeling powerless. Especially when one is young or immature, feelings of joy and depression, anger, fear, frustration, grief, anxiety, resentment, jealousy, guilt, loneliness, love and lust seem to come and go on their own, creating moods that may seem beyond control. The intensity of our feelings can encourage us to act and react impulsively as if we had no choice. We may not have the power to do everything we want to do, but we still have the power to decide what to do with what we have. And that is power enough.

Often people think the responsibility is avoidable. Young or immature individuals are notorious for laying the blame for their actions on others: "You made me lie", "I had to take the car without your permission", "I had no choice" or "It just happened." We need to teach our children that even though they may not like their choices they still have choices — and the responsibility to make them wisely. What is more, the power and responsibility associated with choice exists even when it is extremely difficult to be reflective. Anger, frustration, fear and passion are not acceptable excuses for bad choices (including bad attitudes).
Let’s look at the components of good choices more closely.

Recognizing Important Decisions
Reflection does not come naturally to everyone. That is why it is so important for parents to sharpen their children’s instincts about what matters and what doesn’t. This will serve them all through their lives.
The simple formula is: the greater the potential consequences, the greater the need for careful decision- making. To help identify important decisions, ask yourself these four questions:
1. Could you or someone else suffer physical harm?
2. Could you or someone else suffer serious emotional pain?
3. Could the decision hurt your reputation, undermine your credibility, or damage important relationships?
4. Could the decision impede the achievement of any important goal?

Good Decisions Are Both Ethical and Effective

Ethical Decisions: A decision is ethical when it is consistent with the Six Pillars of Character – ethical decisions generate and sustain trust; demonstrate respect, responsibility, fairness and caring; and are consistent with good citizenship. If we lie to get something we want and we get it, the decision might well be called effective, but it is also unethical.

Effective Decisions: A decision is effective if it accomplishes something we want to happen, if it advances our purposes. A simple test is: are you satisfied with the results? A choice that produces unintended and undesirable results is ineffective.
For example, if we make a casual remark to make someone feel good but it makes him feel bad instead, we were ineffective. If we decide to do something we really don’t want to do just to please a friend and the decision ends up getting us in serious trouble, it’s ineffective.
The key to making effective decisions is to think about choices in terms of their ability to accomplish our most important goals. This means we have to understand the difference between immediate and short-term goals and longer-range goals.